Her name is Tammy and she’s a T-Rex and I can honestly say she’s an amazing piece of art.
There is a meaningful art. There is a transformative art. And then there’s the art, which is a gorgeous camp blast, like a glow bomb exploding in your face. And if there’s anyone who doesn’t want to see Denise Richards, yes Christmas Jones himself, making good sex with the robot dinosaur, then I can’t even begin to understand what they want from the movie.
You know you’re going to have a good time when the title card pops up because he misnames the movie he’s in as “Tanny and the Teen T-Rex.”
Now, it’s true that sometimes the box art that a movie comes in will rename a movie that has already been made. But everyone in the movie very bluntly named Richards’ character “Tammy”, and yet the character is listed as “Tanny” in both the starting and ending credits. How do they misspell the main character’s name… three times? When this came out, I knew I was having a wild time.
So Paul Walker is also in this business. Yes, Paul Walker. Tammy’s love interest plays Michael. Other than her family’s disapproval of the relationship, it looks like her ex-boyfriend probably came to visit from the Purge movies. He makes a small home invasion with a rebel gang to beat up Michael, who is trying to have sex with Tammy at the time.
Someone pass me my sunglasses because this hot chemistry is blinding me. But Tammy’s ex-boyfriend goes after Michael, who’s on the run, and if you think you know what happens next…
Michael is eaten by a cursed lion.
Michael is found by a ranger and taken to the hospital, but sadly in a coma. Some mad scientists kidnap him and put his brain inside their robotic dinosaur. Their plan, which I’m not making up, is to implant the brains of dying pets into robot bodies because they think people will pay a lot of money to have it done. They’re probably not wrong though.
It’s a very touching moment when Michael realizes what they’ve done to him. Tammy and T-Rex, “who is the real monster: the brain in the robot dinosaur or the humans who put the brain in the robot dinosaur?” he asks.
Michael then kills a group of people before reconnecting with Tammy. And they go on wild rides to find a corpse to put Michael’s brain on. Which I’m pretty sure about how life works.
As a bad movie buff, I’m so sorry I’ve never crossed paths with this movie before. To quote Susan Sontag’s camp, she claims that “good taste is not just good taste; really bad taste has good taste.” And I developed the best good taste that comes to mind when you think of a bad palate. Yet no one caught my attention until Cold Crash Pictures made a video on bad dinosaur movies.
Of course I love Oda, Manos: The Hands of Destiny and Gymkata. But none of these movies feature the Fast and the Furious star getting her brain into a robot dinosaur.
We must all be talking about Tammy and T-Rex all the time.